With popular music producing about as much energy as a stagnant bowl of pigeon shit, I am going to ask the question that is on everyone's mind: what happened to drummers? Damn it man, you sit on a stool while the guitar player and lead singers capture the hearts and underpants of sweaty underaged girls.
Remember when drummers used to have gongs behind their sets? A gong can singlehandedly transform a mediocre drummer into the arrogant womanizer that lies latent in his subconscious. Since a gong can really only be used to accentuate the end of a song or signify a gaudy introduction, the instrument simply emanates the rock star attitude. A snare drum is used in every single song, but it is only a fraction of the size of a gong. You can't even see the snare drum from the audience. A gong on the other hand is heavy and shiny and probably costs more than your tight-slack wearing guitar player's Marshall amp. What's even better is you need a sledgehammer with a pillow on the top to hit the gong. If the roadies bitch to you about carrying a large hubcap just so you can slam it in one song, just tell them you'll send some of the groupies to their bus.
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